KEEPING YOURSELF CALM

Your body is always talking to you. It has a loud voice. It says things like "I'm tense," "I can't breath," or " I don't have enough energy to cope." You can't help listening, and you can't help feeling the tension mount.
Whenever you listen to your body speaks .. you need to be relax and focus on which part of your body is feeling the tension, focus some energy to it and soon things will get better. Sounds easy? Well you need to be calm to do that.

Have you ever realise that only when you are calm you can:-
1) Make good decisions
2) You are relax
3) Life look simpler
4) Harmonised with nature
5) You are happy
6) Focus
7) Ever knowing
well the list can do on & on .. all are just about the good stuff .. well only when you are calm.
What is calmness? This was taken from Wikipedia:
Calmness is a mental state wherein the mind is not turbulent, but open and reflective. No emotions are agitating the mind and no insistent train of thought is disturbing the mind. Calmness can most easily occur for the average person during a state of relaxation, but it can also be found during much more alert and aware states. Some people find that focusing the mind on something external, or even internal, such as the breathing, can itself be very calming. Calmness is a quality that can be cultivated and increased with practice. It usually takes a trained mind to stay calm in the face of a great deal of different stimulation, and possible distractions, especially emotional ones. The negative emotions are the greatest challenge to someone who is attempting to cultivate a calm mind. Some disciplines that promote and develop calmness are yoga, relaxation training, breath training, and meditation practices. In religion we pray, we fast and we recite .. these all are part of developing calmness.

This is just base on my own experience .. developing calmness starts with breathing ..
I was reading this book -- Daily Relaxer - Matthew McKay interesting on how easy getting yourself calm any time of the day, anywhere. I shall elobarate more on that particular book as it seems to be interesting simple for anyone to do.

Part One: Relaxing your body:

• body check-in: as you know that your body speaks to you all the time, you need to take some time off just scan your body from head to toe and admit to whatever uncomfortable feelings that you may have at certain parts of your body and be thankful that your body speaks to you.
• paying attention: the more attention that you put to that particular area well sometimes it may work as long you do not have any self pity over it. Example - You are having a tight shoulder, take a short time out listen to your body on what/why your shoulder is tight and just relax and letting go of that tightness.
• when is it: you need to be aware of where and when you are. Always ask yourself this, "Where is here? When is Now?" Example - you sitting in your office facing the computer but your mind is still at Burger King enjoying Whooper. You are not at the present and some call this as "Monkey Mind" as you neither here nor there.
• breathing techniques: this is the part I like most; well there are several breathing techniques but I shall share you 2 simple ones. The correct way of breathing is through your nose into your stomach, hold it for a second before releasing it. The other is alternating breathing:

1. Sit comfortable with a good posture
2. Rest the index finger and middle finger of your right hand on your forehead
3. Close your right nostril with your thumb
4. Inhale slowly and soundlessly through your left nostril
5. Close your left nostril with your right finger and simultaneously open your right nostril by removing your thumb
6. Exhale slowly and soundlessly and as thoroughly as possible through your right nostril
7. Inhale through your right nostril
8. Close your right nostril with your thumb and open your left nostril
9. Exhale thorugh your left nostril
10. Repeat for at least 5 cycles

• conscious eating: most of the time we will rush through our food or distracted. Try doing this, get 15mins to spare, 1st look at the food (lets use an apple as an example), observe the colour and shapes. See the shiny and dull parts of it. Next feel the fruit. Hold it in your hand and sense the weight, the slick surface if the skin, the stiff stem. Now smell the apple, taking in the sweet, slighlty tart fragrance. Notice if your mouth starts to water. Tell yourself at this point what do you feel. Take the 1st bite, notice the texture, the snap as the bite comes loose, the taste, the juiciness. Begin to chew slowly and notice how the taste evolves as you continue to chew. Keep track of how your tounge and teeth work together. Swallow and sense how your neck muscles work. Imagine where the food is going - from your mouth, through your throat, down into your stomach. Tell yourself that you are nourishing your body with good food. Keep on doing this until you feel full and satisfied.
• keep moving: always look forward into life as that is the only way of moving.

Part 2: Calm your mind:

• It's possible that you can learn to relax your body, yet still never achieve true calmness. That's because within 30 seconds, stressful thinking can undo the effects of any relaxation exercise. You must learn to live in the moment, by surrendering your anxious thoughts to moments of peaceful reflection and rythmic breathing. Calming your mind is a necessary step to lasting stress relief.
• I do not see other way of calming your mind .. you need to meditate. There are a lot of Guru that can show you how and even in religion by understanding it fully you will see that the rituals are ways of developing clamness. I like this book on meditation - The Master Key System - Charles F Haanel as he shows step-by-step weekly exercise that you need to do.
  
• a simple one that you can use anytime of the day and anywhere is by having that special place. Everyone has that one place where you can escape, where you can be protected from pressure and stress for a while. But sometimes there is no such refuge, That's why you need to create a safe and peaceful place in your imagination, a place you can go any time you need to relax. The key to have this exercise succesful, your imagination is strong enough that you believe you are actually there, your senses can feel the air, touch the water, hear the birds, walking on the grass .. well it could be anything some may call it day dreaming, I call it retrival from it all. But not to do that too often till you not doing any work at all hehehehe. It is a special place, you only go there at times that you really need it. Honour that it is special.
• talk with yourself: if you have nothing to talk just refrain from talking instead listen to yourself and talk with you. Your mind will suggest, will pop out so many things and most are problems related. Be silent, listen to all these problems, acknowledge and detach. Example you need to pay the electricity bill on the 25th every mth, in your mind have a picture of the bill, agree that you need to pay certain amount by the 25th, say 'thankyou' and just let it go with a feeling of knowing that you will pay on the 25th. Once you have detach it, you are not to 'talk' about it in your mind anymore until the 25th.
• be silent: be silent to everything, stop talking and stop listening to everyone and even to your ownself. Just be still close your eyes and be in the dark. You can only see darkness, emptyness and silence. It is good in preparing you for something new.

These are just few stuff that I hope can help you in getting a calmer life. All are just still on the basics, I do hope that you guys will venture and go deeper. Have a nice meditation. Maybe I will try to relate Muslim's rituals to calmness someday as it can lead to debatable topic.